oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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