Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Screwed.edu
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she peed on how many people?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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