You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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