I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
