i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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