thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
