I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
