so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
