I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He kissed a someone with a penis
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
