Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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