Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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