Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
