we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.