the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
