Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize