Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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