Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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