I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night