Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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