Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
