guys are not supposed to queef...right?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
