I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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