that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
