You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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