just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
