dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
