You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
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Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
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The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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