I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
