____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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