I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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