I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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