Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
