i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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