Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
