Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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