He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
