guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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