butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
