I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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