Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
