Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
