Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
