Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
