You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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