You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
