Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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