buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
