i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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