you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
