man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
