no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
