I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
