its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
