Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm like, not good at living.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
