oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize