I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
