who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
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