So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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