And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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