the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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