I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
