did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
