got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
