She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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