as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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