I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
