Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
