Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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