I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
