So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
