So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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