it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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