If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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