problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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