wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
