The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
