CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.