Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?