where am i from again
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!