Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
